from fear to faith

Up and down. Highs and lows. Confusion. Anxiety. Excitement.

That's what life looks like for me right now.. all sorts of emotions swimming back and forth between my head and my heart. 

In only a few short weeks, I'll be a graduated girl. I'm busy writing papers, preparing presentations, studying for my licensure, and saying goodbye to the sweet clients I've poured my life into this year. In the midst of it all, I'm filling out job applications, writing cover letters (quickly becoming my least favorite thing ever), and trying to figure out where I'm headed next. 

I wish I could tell you that this transition period has been easy and that I've been been calmly strolling through it all. But... that would be a big fat lie. 

Yes, there are days when it all makes sense and I am jumping out of my skin with excitement. I'm graduating! No more papers! I'm a grown up! The world is at my fingertips! 

Then there are days when I can't sleep or can't eat because I'm terrified about what's ahead. Sometimes I'll be sipping my coffee at work and the tears just start streaming out. Will I get a job? Is anyone even reading these cover letters? Where am I going? Where will I live? Will I make enough to pay off my loans? Will I make enough to eat or have electricity? Why did I decide to be a social worker?

I'm on a rollercoaster, people. 

I've been consumed with worry and confusion and have spent time begging God for clarity and provision. He's answered: Lee, take off the shackles of doubt and trust me. 

I'm far from having it all together, but I know that He loves me. He will turn this fear into faith.

Hebrews 11:8 says, "By faith, Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going."

EVEN THOUGH HE DID NOT KNOW WHERE HE WAS GOING. 
EVEN THOUGH HE DID NOT KNOW WHERE HE WAS GOING.
EVEN THOUGH HE DID NOT KNOW WHERE HE WAS GOING.

I just keep repeating it because that is my life right now. No idea where I'm going. But Abraham, he just obeyed and went. He did not know what was ahead but he trusted and stepped out anyway. 

You know what was on the other side of his step of faith? The promised land. 

Take off your shackles of doubt and trust, Lee. The promised land is ahead of you. 

one foot in front of the other, 

lee