sorry for this, that, and everything..

pretty sure this blog post was written just for me.. maybe you, too: 

 "when saying you're sorry is a bad idea.."

"sorry's" are for healing not hiding, 

lee

another post I wish I'd written

.. sorry for all the links lately. Life's a little busy with graduating, moving, and starting a new chapter of life. I'll be back with something original soon.. but until then, feast on this post I wish I'd written: 

How to Make Magic.. 

see people, 

lee

Elevate: New York City

(video was attached to a virus.. will replace as soon as possible!)

promise maker, promise keeper

I was flipping through my phone today and came across this little note I jotted during a recent sermon: 

"Believing that the half fulfilled promise will come to full fruition is a choice" 

I sat stunned at the timing of this reminder. I'm in a transitional season right now and I've found myself really anxious about the next steps. As the Lord turns my fear into faith, I've had to surrender a lot. All the not knowing and blind trust is not easy breezy for this control freak. 

As I read that little note above, I began to think of how it feels to be talking, walking, and living in the season of 'half-fulfilled promises'? Let's be honest, 'half-fulfilled promise land' is not a fun place to camp out. It's no easy place to settle into and it's far from comfortable. All the wishing and waiting and wanting can be really painful.

I know I often get so discouraged and frustrated with the process of Him fulfilling the promise, that I just choose to opt out of the promise entirely. Do you know what I'm saying? 

Maybe He's given you a desire for marriage but you haven't' found "the one"
Maybe He's taking something or someone away and you can't understand why he is letting you endure such pain.
Maybe you lost your job and you don't know where to go or how to pick yourself back up. 

Maybe, like me, He has called you to a specific purpose or place but hasn't given you any clear direction yet. 
Maybe you want to be an artist but you're stuck behind a computer answering phones and crunching numbers.
Maybe God has planted a huge dream in your heart but the avenues to see it come to life haven't opened up. 

It's hard to be in limbo. (Can I get an amen?) The longing to see a promise fulfilled can be grueling. 

I don't want another piece of the puzzle, I just want to see the whole picture. Give me a glimpse of your plan, God, and then I'll step out. Anyone else? I can't even tell you how many times I am on my face saying, "COME ON WITH IT, God". Many times I just throw my hands up and give up in the middle of the promise when breakthrough was right ahead of me. All the while God is telling my selfish heart to trust.

This little note I scribbled has stirred up my heart and reminded me that I must CHOOSE to believe that God will follow through. Hebrews 11:11 says that though Sarah was barren, Abraham became a father "because he considered Him faithful who had made the promise". He who made the promise is faithful. He is not finished with you and me and He has NOT forgotten about us. He will not forsake us. We may not understand why He is putting us through the fire, but we must choose to trust that He is refining us and preparing us for His promise.  

This reminds me so much of the story of Easter. Jesus took on the weight of the world and hung on the cross to fulfill God's promise. It was an ugly murder of an innocent, sinless man. You know what's insane? Even Jesus didn't understand and even He didn't want to endure the waiting game of the 'half-fulfilled promise'. In Matthew 27:45 it says "at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?". He was full of pain and grief and He felt forgotten. It looked as if God did not deliver him, as he died on the cross and was put to rest in the tomb. Mary Magdelene weeped for him outside his grave. There was darkness and pain and no one understood. How could this be? Why did God do this? Jesus's sacrifice was supposed to be the promise of eternal life.. but now he lays dead? That's because the promise was only half fulfilled. The story may have seemed like it was over.. but it wasn't. 


It was far from over, friends. On the third day, the tomb was EMPTY. On the third day day, He rose from the dead victorious. The third day finished the story... On the third day He fulfilled the promise.

My prayer for you and me this week is that we will remain faithful to God, even when it feels like He is putting us to death. Even when we want the cup to pass us and the sting of pain to flee. Maybe you are waiting for God to fulfill His promise but you have no hope left. You may feel like you can't wait any longer. You may be like Mary Magdalene, weeping over something you thought you had lost forever. Maybe you are in a season that looks a lot like the first or second day after the crucifixion... dark, dreary, painful. But keep your eyes on Him and don't lose hope.. your "third day" is coming. He will fulfill his promises to you. 

"The Lord who calls you is faithful and He will do it" 1 Thessalonians 5:24

believing that the promise maker is the promise keeper,
lee

mmm...

took this during my little beach escape in March.
this is for the days when the cold and concrete and chaos are smothering..

lovely reminder that there is a place where the sun is shining and the pace is slow and the waves are rolling peacefully.


wishing i could trade in my peacoat for a swimsuit, 
lee

The Elephant Room

I cannot wait to get my hands on this! 

 because "when iron sharpens iron, stuff catches fire",
lee

from fear to faith

Up and down. Highs and lows. Confusion. Anxiety. Excitement.

That's what life looks like for me right now.. all sorts of emotions swimming back and forth between my head and my heart. 

In only a few short weeks, I'll be a graduated girl. I'm busy writing papers, preparing presentations, studying for my licensure, and saying goodbye to the sweet clients I've poured my life into this year. In the midst of it all, I'm filling out job applications, writing cover letters (quickly becoming my least favorite thing ever), and trying to figure out where I'm headed next. 

I wish I could tell you that this transition period has been easy and that I've been been calmly strolling through it all. But... that would be a big fat lie. 

Yes, there are days when it all makes sense and I am jumping out of my skin with excitement. I'm graduating! No more papers! I'm a grown up! The world is at my fingertips! 

Then there are days when I can't sleep or can't eat because I'm terrified about what's ahead. Sometimes I'll be sipping my coffee at work and the tears just start streaming out. Will I get a job? Is anyone even reading these cover letters? Where am I going? Where will I live? Will I make enough to pay off my loans? Will I make enough to eat or have electricity? Why did I decide to be a social worker?

I'm on a rollercoaster, people. 

I've been consumed with worry and confusion and have spent time begging God for clarity and provision. He's answered: Lee, take off the shackles of doubt and trust me. 

I'm far from having it all together, but I know that He loves me. He will turn this fear into faith.

Hebrews 11:8 says, "By faith, Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going."

EVEN THOUGH HE DID NOT KNOW WHERE HE WAS GOING. 
EVEN THOUGH HE DID NOT KNOW WHERE HE WAS GOING.
EVEN THOUGH HE DID NOT KNOW WHERE HE WAS GOING.

I just keep repeating it because that is my life right now. No idea where I'm going. But Abraham, he just obeyed and went. He did not know what was ahead but he trusted and stepped out anyway. 

You know what was on the other side of his step of faith? The promised land. 

Take off your shackles of doubt and trust, Lee. The promised land is ahead of you. 

one foot in front of the other, 

lee